12 Things To Put Into Practice With Every Person You’re Leading
All great leaders in the Bible Moses, Paul, Jesus, etc. committed themselves to training and coaching other leaders. It’s called a lot of different names such as discipling, training, leading, etc. but the bottom line is it’s a transfer of what God has done in me into someone else.
There is no more important job that each of us have than coaching other leaders. When it stops with us, then we stop what God wants to do in someone else.
Whatever God has shown me, is my responsibility to show that to someone else.
God’s impartations into us are never just for us.
There are so many examples of this in the Bible. Jesus spent 73% of his time during this earthly ministry with the 12 disciples that He was coaching.
Over the last year I have had a coach that I’ve met with to help me become a better leader for others and also help me become all that God has created me for. It has provided a place and structure for me to reflect on what I’m doing and learn and grow so that I can lead my team effectively. If we’re going to pour into other people we’ve got to make sure that we’re being poured into as well. If you’re interested in hiring a coach I’m taking a few new coaching clients right now.
You can find out more about how I can help you here.
There are many different strategies and methods and procedures you can put into place to train other people. I’m a huge fan of 1 on 1 meetings with people I’m coaching wheather that’s staff members or volunteers. For some of you maybe you prefer group meetings. Whatever the method is doesn’t matter as much as the mission of training people.
Here are 12 practical things to put into practice with every person you’re leading
Know your strengths and weaknesses.
Self assess and self evaluate before you can teach others. Identify the good things about yourself that you want to impart into others. But, also identify the bad things that you don’t want to impart into others. Before we can coach others we have to be able to assess ourselves properly.
Know the strengths and weaknesses of the person you want to develop/grow.
Find out their strengths and weaknesses so you know how to help them best. Ask them and ask others. But also spend time getting to know them and assessing them for yourself.
Clearly define the purpose of this relationship.
What are they looking to get out of it? What are you looking to get out of it? The worst thing that can happen is misplaced expectations. Obviously, if it’s someone on your staff that you’re coaching then there are job expectations. Those should be clearly defined as well. It’s a little harder to define those for volunteers or other people that maybe just go to your church that you’re discipling. But I still think having a clear purpose defined upfront will help long term. Do they want to become a better parent? Do they want to learn how to read the Bible better? How do you know you’ve won after 90 days, 120 days, etc.? Again that’s harder to identify in a non working relationship, but it’s still necessary.
Teach the “why” behind what you’re asking them to do.
Don’t just tell them what you do or what they need to do. Teach them why you do it like that. There’s a much higher chance that it will stick when they understand the why and not just the what.
Discuss their growth as you go.
Celebrate wins and learn from losses. Don’t be afraid to talk through issues. As a kid we physically go through growing pains as our bodies grow. Discipleship involved growth as well and that may be painful at times. But, you have to discuss it and come up with a plan of why it was painful and how to avoid it the next time. Help them see there pitfalls and where they went wrong. Also, identify places that they did things right and how that helped them be successful. If you’re coaching a volunteer from the greeter team it could be as simple as celebrating when they were able to show a new person the welcome center and get them plugged into serving with a team. But identify what led to that win so it can be repeated.
Spend relational time with them getting to know them outside of work.
Don’t just be a mentor on paper. I’ve never hired anyone or discipled anyone I wouldn’t be friends with. Ministry is too hard to do it with people you don’t like to be around. So since you like the person, spend time with them.
Show them that you care before you ask them to care about what you’re showing them.
Don’t make everything transactional. Be relational.
Allow them to watch you serve and lead.
Imitation is the best way to learn something. More is caught than taught. They’re more likely to do what they watch you do rather than do what you tell them to do. If you are teaching them to serve their spouses and families then you should do the same. When that church event is over don’t stick around talking to your friends, go home and help your wife at home. That will teach them more about serving than any words you could say or any articles you tell them to read.
Be generous. Give them things they need. Books, coffee, etc.
My entire life I have been so fortunate to have been led by generous people. If we went to lunch they always paid for me. Not because I expected it or deserved it, but because they were generous and saw that as another way to invest in me. I had pastors and leaders who knew how much I loved to read and would constantly buy me books that they were reading that they knew I would enjoy. Invest in your people not just with your time, but also your resources. If you’re coaching someone on your staff and a new computer would help them do their job better and more effective then find a way to get it for them. Those things go a long way with people.
Speak future.
Tell them what you see for them in their future. If you’re coaching a small group leader and you see potential in them tell them that you see a future small group coach over small group leaders in them. If you’re coaching a young person who is artistic tell them you see a future graphic designer in them. No matter how old you are or how much experience you have we all love when people call out good things they see in us. We get more optimistic about our future when someone else is optimistic about our future. Help them see a future that they can’t even imagine for themselves.
Hold them accountable.
One of the benefits of setting clear expectations in this relationship is now you have benchmarks to hold them accountable to. If you both agree on something and then one person doesn’t hold up their end it’s easy to call that out. I mentioned earlier, but I’m a big believer in one on one meetings with people I’m coaching. If it’s a staff member that I’m coaching I prefer for those to happen weekly if possible. Even if they are just 15 minutes it gives us a landing place to talk through issues instead of creating this monstrous build up once a month for me to address things. Weekly meetings are not possible with every person you are coaching or leading especially volunteers, but it could be as simple as a text message or email check in. When you finish your last meeting give clear expectations with a deadline. Then weekly you can send an update text asking if those expectations were met. If not then a quick phone call lets you talk through it and get to the bottom of it
Let them fail.
Experience is the best teacher. Don’t be afraid to let people you are leading fail. It’s easy to try and stop them and tell them all the reasons why what they’re about to do will not work, but it’s sometimes more effective for them to try and learn on their own. Obviously, there are exceptions to this rule. If someone is about to throw their life away and marry the wrong person or take the wrong job please by all means try and stop them. That’s what you’re there for as a leader. But, if it’s decisions with maybe teams their leading sometimes letting them make the wrong choice in something with a low consequence can help them more in the long run than you stopping them.
Affirm them often
There is no better feeling than having someone you look up to affirm you. Affirming them doesn’t just mean telling them they’re doing great. Notice what they’re doing. Listen to them. Be interested in their lives outside of ministry. Include them in your life outside of ministry. Pray for them. All of those things affirm to people that you’re coaching that you care for them and love them. Somebody once said, “How do you know if someone needs encouragement? If they’re breathing.” I’ve never heard someone criticize their leader and say “he just affirmed me too much.” It’s not possible.